All I have to say is THANK GOD I can sleep forever tomorrow! It's 1:30 a.m. and I Just got home from rehearsal. We got out shortly after midnight and then I did the terrible thing of eating late because I was starving...I'm seriously wiped out! I sincerely hope that the run starts fully tomorrow with no stopping--otherwise I will crap my pants come Friday. haha
I had a nice ride back home listening to my two new Joni Mitchell cds---thanks to Andy! :-) Damn I forgot just how much I loved her, after all she taught "your cold English wife how to love." :-)
Overall kind of a shitty day...ENT appointment this morning just for a checkup to make sure everything is ok since my tonsillectomy this summer---everything looks great...he of course scoped me which caused me to have a constant level of phlegm for the remainder of the afternoon--especially in the sitz probe at 1:30. Holy cow I thought the stuff was going to just fly right out of my damn mouth. But I'm happy things are good.
This opera is actually difficult to sing, believe it or not. I'm generally a high baritone--the majority of good sound in my voice sits higher---Papageno doesn't go above an E natural...which generally isn't a problem...however interstingly enough an E-natural and sometimes an E-flat is my turning note into the passaggio...so there's the inevitable question of "what the fuck do I do with this note...'turn it' or not. And I haven't really been vocalizing really high these days because the need to hasn't been too great. His sits kind of low in the ensemble numbers--which proves to be tough after a long day, as my low notes usually end up getting muffled after I'm not fresh--although somtimes they do decide to pop out of the middle of no where. PLUS a lot of his stuff is all character...so finding the balance of singing and also not singing "too much" or too heavily is a major issue. But I find myself going one way or another! If I'm not singing enough and I'm coming off the voice too much then I'm extremely tired....if I sing too much it seems to lose it's character just a bit. So this along with remembering my 4865839084 arias, words, and texts...along with now working with the conductor, getting NEW staging at every rehearsal, and on Wed. adding another layer which is the orchestra--has me stressed out just a tad. haha Oh well I guess it's the beauty of what we do--it all works this way...and we need to relish in the fact that NOTHING will ever be perfect and stop trying to make it that way.
I found myself upset at the stupidist things today...and I question how I really feel about a particular situation in my life. I feel like I've caught someone being dishonest with me--and I don't feel like I have the right to say anything----or even be upset. All I know how to do is to try to be distant, but that actually hurts me more. I don't know what hurts me more--being distant or having someone be dishonest with me. It will work itself out---I'm probably overreacting anyways...I'm stressed to the max and thinking about 48398948 million things. It has been great though connecting with new people and I really am excited about that!!!!! I was also happy to get a voice mail tonight that definitely made me smile...and also yesterday from my soprano in Illinois.
Ok....off to the shower and then bed. I'm turning off all contact with the outside world until I wake tomorrow....
Peace,
Justin